Hey, are you seriously asking me that? Do you even have a brain? Fucking dumber than a brick you probably have room temperature IQ. God, what a waste of my fucking precious time. I hope I never encounter with such a dumb question ever again, kill yourself. Edit: I'm really sorry for that response. I've been dealing with some personal issues and my boss saw my behavior. He fucked my dog and made me watch it. I'm very sorry about what happened to both you and my boss, I won't ever again use PCP because it made me shit myself multiple times and it affects my behavior and my boss says that I can't do it anymore. I'm know switching to ketamine and a ton of weed anal roa. Again, I'm terribly sorry as the whole life of my family is on the line, my dog was already fucked and I think my kids are next. My boss also has a feet fetish so I'm afraid he'll cut my wife's feet to use them as he pleases. Please consider leaving a positive review from now on for the sake of my wife and kids. Sincerely Pingertek

Customer: hey bro, u offer express overnight? tryna get zooted STAT but don't wanna order if it's gunna' be 2DD /u/pingertek: the FUCK did you just ask me? OVERNIGHT? I RUN USPS, I PUT PCP IN ALL THE MAILMENS COFFEE IN THE MORNING SO THEY GET ME MY FUCKIN MONEY FASTER THAN $15 PUSSY IN TJ YOU IDIOT. MY DELIVERIES ARE FASTER THAN THOSE OCTOPUS FUCKERS WITH DRONES N SHIT. ILL HAVE SOMEONE AT YOUR HOUSE FASTER THAN THE 10 XMR CONFIRMS TO MY FUCKIN WALLET. IN FACT THEY ON THE WAY RIGHT NOW BITCH AND THEY AINT KNOCKIN CUZ THEY ON PCP TOO AND FINNA HULK SMASH YOUR DOOR DOWN AND POUR THAT SHIT STRAIGHT IN YOUR ASSHOLE. Edit: Hey there, hope you're doing better. Wanted to reach out and apologize about your door getting damaged during the PCP delivery. Admittedly I do not run USPS, I'm just a mail carrier and you were in my area, I got high on my own supply and well, you know, I fucked up your door and damn near OD'd you on PCP. Well, your doorbell cam recorded this unfortunate incident and the USPS inspector general (my boss) has been watching it over and over again, each time getting more disturbed and red in the face. I walked by his office and he called me in, I expected to be fired on the spot but instead he pulled his dick out and started yanking on it like priests ringing a bell at a monastery, all while maintaining direct eye contact with me, veins popping out of his forehead, then came all over the mail I was supposed to deliver. He made me clean it up with my mouth while simultaneously laughing and screaming. I think he might have taken some of my PCP to be honest, because I've never seen him this upset before. My boss then started sending my family "love letters" every day written in fresh blood stating that my ass belongs to him and if I don't produce they're going to have to get jobs at USPS and eat his cum covered letters as well. Anyways, I don't make much money carrying mail so I took my kids college fund and refinanced my 2003 honda civic at 39% APR and on-ramped the crypto that is rightfully yours for the pain and suffering I have caused you. Please accept my deepest apologies and send me an XMR address I can repay you with. If you wouldn't mind sending the txid to my boss as proof of payment I will be eternally grateful and never touch PCP or your door again. God bless.

are you fucking moron or do you just cum instanly when you act like a retard i am so sorry i have been shoving huge amounts of pcp up my ass because my nan said you get a better high, my boss is also sorry he said if i don't apologize hes going to stick me and my dog sharneese in the dishwasher to wash my filthy mouth out now all i have to do is eat copious amounts of butter whilst him and the boys like to smoke cigarettes and drink milk, they also like to play a game of who can flick their cigarette into me fucking eyes and after the boss will call me 'HIS PRECIOUS BUTTER BOY' again so sorry its been a big learning experience of love and respect for my buyers, my boss says to leave please leave a postive or he'll 'ko me john cena style' and shove is massive mucus piles up my nose

The fuck.....you tweaking ass... fucking pgp'd me a picture of yourself is wild. Your mouth moving as you bitch about pig fucking ass eating down syndrome giraffes but i can hear you right next to me. I fucking jumped off the balcony just to try to find you in my bushes. I'm going to eat some more marquis reagent and boost my super powers and fly to you and eat your fucking face bitch. Edit: I would like to sincerely apologize for my uncalled for customer service. After all the customer is always right! And my boss has threatened to violently murder my family. My family is 2 dogs and 3 gerbils and 67 goldfish. He said my dogs become sesame dalmatian. My gerbils get skinned and turned into ngyipple covers and thongs with just enough to cover the balls and my shiny goldfish become california rolls... This is a reality i could not face. So my sincerest apology sir/madam/he/her...let me she/them tiddies! Sorry, omg, I'm so sorry, (pcp kicked back in for a sec there). All my love /u/pingertek

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the DNM market sales, and I've been involved in numerous secret direct sales on dread, and I have over 300 dropships. I am trained in market vending and I'm the top vendor in the entire US armed vendors. You are nothing to me but just another dipshit customer. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Darknet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of vendors across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the sale, faggot. The sale that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your account. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can sell you shit in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed market sales, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Markets and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable account off the face of the market, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" bad reviews was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, fucko. Edit: I'm sorry, i relapsed again and smoked tons of PCP on top of having huffed a whole can of oven cleaner at the time i wrote this reply and while i clicked post, my boss saw what i had done and started bitch slapping me around the room, like making me walk in circles while i was out of my fucking gourd and he was also yelling "NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE". I got into fetal position and he started to kick me with his buddies while i was down calling me a good for nothing little faggot and i started crying thinking my time was about to come. As he spared me from getting finished he whispered to my ear that he was gonna give me one last chance and that i better not fuck it up but only on 2 conditions, he put me in full lingerie and took pictures of me and said that from now on i have to tend to my customers while being dressed in sheer lingerie and if i ever fuck up again he's going to lynch my ass and bring me to the nearest bridge to cement shoes my ass down the ocean so please forgive me because i can't really afford no more mistakes and i apologize so hard. Please understand that i didn't mean to be a piece of shit to you, it was all the PCP and my boss gave me an ass whooping of the century. I'm really sorry please, next order i'll send you a free gram of PCP so that you can understand what i was going thru please be understanding of my poor behaviour because i'm getting tremendous pressure from my boss to finally secure my position as one of his runners and i want to get this probation over with so that i can finally get out of wearing this humiliating attire as i really hate having this g-string so far up my ass. Please promise me to send me a DM back saying that you accept my apologies but only after i delete this message to make sure my boss doesn't see this whole message otherwise i'm toasted. Please man i really need you to forgive me man it was the PCP all along liek i'm so sorry man please give me forgiveness man PCP and shit sorry man my boss sorry i was on PCP i won't ever do it again sorry. P.S: I'm deeply sorry man my boss came the other night and had a barrel of hydrochloride acid and an empty barrel and said that this is what is waiting for me if i step out of line again then he proceeded to fuck me in the ass and cum so hard and i fell to the ground and cried myself to sleep and woke up this morning feeling like i had to tell you that i'm sorry for having been an asshole to you cause i swear i relapsed again and was on PCP and huffed a whole can of oven cleaner man please be understanding i will never step out of line anymore man please i'm sorry. P.P.S: I'm really sorry man, can you please forgive me, my boss is gonna beat my ass again with his cock so i just want to make sure everything is good otherwise i'm gonna get it man please i'm sorry please come back buying from me man please i will never act the way i did anymore please man i'm sorry.

WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT, UH? THE FUCK IS YOU ASKING ME? Edit: I deeply apologize for any pertrusions and comments I may have made previously. I have been dealing with PTSD, a disease caused by my intense use of PCP. I cannot begin to express my gratitute for you as a customer and I hope my boss will forgive me for this terrible mistake. I hope he does not peg me again, last time I was not able to properly sit down due to anal erruptions. I am so sorry.

Hahahahaha this guy is hilarious. If you can get past his ridiculous attitude, he does ship good product.

Oh you paid less at the store down the street? Then fucking go down the street fuck face? Why are you wasting my time? Wanna talk to the manager? I am the manager.You are banned. If I hear from you again I will stab you in the eye with an ice pick. Okay I sincerely apologize for being short with you for asking your dumb question. I forget stupid people do exist and sometime I will have to interact with them. I am sorry your a dim wit and cant help it

I would like to spice this up a little, let's say our PCP is an Indian. Pcp: I know you address motherfucker, tell your last four digits of credit card you stupid. Why you dumb. You rot in hell son of a biitch. I'm your boss motherfucker. Edit: Hello sir, I'm very apologize. I'm joined new to this company, I'm not aware of this sir. Please don't tell my boss, my mom having heart problem and she's Rajasthan, there's no water sir. Please understand sir, we poor family. I'll do anything for you. Please delete conversation sir, I'm apologize. Truthfully, RUPINDER SINGH

/u/pingertek Hello what is your order #? Customer : 0000001 /u/pingertek: (breaks out in sweat, gets naked and starts punching walls) Go fuck yourself, you scam me . Why do I only have 1 order. I suck you suck wee allll suckkkkkk (Runs down the hillside threatening locals) Edit: I disrespectfully apologize for my behavior. I can't help it when the pcp touches my lips ITS SOOO GGOODDD. RaInBoW FlAvOrEd faggetry brought to you by me. Also he said he would kill my gay husband gay son and gay dog. With a butter knife from the butter warz or something??? I dunno but i apologize for my faggotry and crippling pcp addiction BONUS: /u/pingertekS actual comment about almost killing himself by mixing subs and not weighing them lmaoooooo. Def a vendor I would like to trust hahahahha Stupid is a plague on this earth. speaking of stupid long ago i tried to eyeball a combined dose of 100mg mdma and 100mg mda at the same time having no clue what i was doing, i did not have a good time and it could have turned out far worse than it did.

Are you nigger? You must be if you're asking me questions that fucking stupid. EDIT: Please accept for my most humble apologies for my previous hostilities, my Black King. My wife recently left me for my best friend and took the kids so I have started abusing PCP to escape the pain. Be that as it may, it is no excuse for subjecting you to my unfettered internalized racist views. After seeing my response to your question, my African American boss kindly explained to me that I was being way out of line and that I not only needed to check my privilege, but also that Black Lives do indeed Matter. Unfortunately, he felt so strongly about the issue that he took the liberty of checking my privilege for me and now every time I fart, my asshole just makes a sighing sound. I now live in constant fear as he threatened to do the same to my wife and children if my customer service is less than exemplary and to be honest I think my whore ex-wife might enjoy it which is what hurts the most :(

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